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OSCITAX ®
 
Could we live happily ever after ? Perhaps. One's interest in the genetically pre-programmed states of sublimity sketched in "The Hedonistic Imperative" is tempered by the knowledge that one is unlikely to be around to enjoy them.
 
There's clearly a strong causal link between the raw biological capacity to experience happiness and the extent to which one's life is felt to be worthwhile. High-minded philosophy treatises should complicate but not confuse the primacy of the pleasure-pain axis. So one very practical method of life-enrichment consists in chemically engineering happier brains for all in the here-and-now. Yet how can this best be done ? Try Oscitax !
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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mise à jour du
18 novembre 2004
OSCITAX ®
 
La thèse de Wolter Seuntjens
(Amsterdam and Vrije Universiteit 2004)
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) and pdf

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Presentation
Make sure that you have the right tablet. Beware of imitations.
The tablet is orange, oblong and quite difficult to swallow without gaping widely.
 
Pack size
This pack contains only 1 tablet because OSCITAX is so potent, specific and long acting that one tablet is more than sufficient for lifelong yawning.
 
oscitax
 
Contents
The effective substance is oscitocine®. Every tablet is brim-full of oscitocine®. As excipients were used: E460, polyethylene glycol, E464, E171, E172. Does not contain sugar or gluten, does contain lactose.
 
Uses / Actlons
Oscitocine® belongs to the group of yawn inducers - yawn inhibitors
 
(to be frank, it is the only member of this group). How exactly oscitocine® works nobody knows, but that goes for a great number of medicines
 
(in many cases the words of Voltaire still apply : "Les médecins administrent des médicaments dont ils savent très peu, à des malades dont ils savent moins, pour guérir des maladies dont ils ne savent rien").
 
Registration
You will not find this medicine in any register. You may count yourself lucky to be able to test this experimental substance.
 
Indications
OSCITAX® is indicated for people who
- at unexpected and socially awkward moments get an irresistible urge to yawn
- at the right moments cannot yawn.
 
Contraindicatlons
You do not need this medicine if you can yawn spontaneously at the right moments and can repress your urge to yawn at socially awkward moments.
 
Dosage and administration
As I remarked before, one tablet is sufficient for the rest of your life.
The sooner you take the tablet the better. Swallow the tablet with a considerable quantity of uplifting fluid.
 
Use during pregnancy and lactation
OSCITAX® can be used without restriction during pregnancy and lactation.
 
Effects on ability to drive and use machines
The use of OSCITAX® can - initially - considerably influence the ability to drive and use machines.
 
 Adverse effects
This is tricky : during the first few days after taking the tablet you may experience an irresistible urge to yawn. This appears to occur especially when in unsympathetic company but also - paradoxically - when in very sympathetic company. If you, aftertaken the tablet, do not yawn for at least 14days you may contact the fresh doctor i.e., inventor of this medicine. 
 
Interactions
Some medicines can influence each other's effectivity - they potentiate or debilitate each other, or, for some other reason, they may not be taken simultaneously. Medicines that are known to influence the effectivity of OSCITAX® or wich OSCITAX® can influence are:
sildenafil (Viagra): very strange (chaotic) effects can occur
SSRIs (a group of antidepressant drugs)
clomipramine (a triyclic antidepressant drug)
barbiturates (sleep- and relaxation medicines or hypnosedatives)
Overdosage
Overdose of OSCITAX® has not been established: it is impossible to take an overdose.
 
Special precautions for storage and Shelf-life
OSCITAX® is not for storing but for using. Why would you shelve your OSCI TAX® tablet?
 
Medicine classification
Under-the-counter medicine.
 
OSCITAX® and oscitocine® are unregistered trademarks of W. Seuntjens-Yawn Research and Yawn Technology Ltd (in pleasant cooperation with Roche Products Ltd.).
 
This dissertation and the research it is based upon were not sponsored in any way by pharmaceutical companies.
 
Concept and design : Ineke Verkuylen, Eindhoven

OSCITAX ®
 
Pourrions nous connaître, en permanence, la plus radieuse des félicités ? Pourquoi pas. L'intérêt porté au système de récompense, tel qu'il est esquissé dans "La Tyrannie Hédoniste", indique que son existence biologique doit plus aux nécessités de la survie que pour simplement en jouir.
 
Il existe manifestement un puissant lien de causalité entre la capacité biologique naturelle à éprouver du plaisir et la capacité d'un être à ressentir la vie comme valant d'être vécue.
 
Les traités philosophiques de haute tenue tendent à obscurcir cette réflexion mais ne nient pas la primauté dans la balance existentielle du couple plaisir - douleur. De là viendrait la tentation de recourir à une stimulation pharmacologique licite ou illicite afin d'éprouver un plaisir permanent, pour tous et constamment. Est ce réaliste dès maintenant? Essayez Oscitax !
 
Son principe actif est l'Oscitocine® qui appartient à la famille des inducteurs / suppresseurs des bâillements (pour être franc, c'est le seul représentant de cette famille). Comment agit l'Oscitocine® ? soyons honnête, personne ne sait, mais tel est le lot d'un grand nombre de thérapeutiques !
 
Voltaire ne disait-il pas : "Les médecins administrent des médicaments dont ils savent très peu, à des malades dont ils savent moins, pour guérir des maladies dont ils ne savent rien".
  
OSCITAX® est indiqué pour les patients qui
- sont pris d'une urgence irrésistible de bâiller de façon répétée alors que les convenances sociales et le moment ne l'autorisent pas.
- ne peuvent bâiller de façon harmonieuse et bénéfique comme ils le souhaiteraient.
 
Ne prenez pas ce remède si vous bâillez agréablement quand il le faut ou que vous pouvez aisément réprimer les bâillements socialement inopportuns !
 
 
Le réflexe sexuel de l'élévation des bras chez la femme Muhlrad S